Positive Reinforcement in the Early Years 

Written by Stacy Mann, C.O.O. The Early Years Company

As parents, caregivers, or teachers, our greatest desire is to see children grow into happy, confident, and capable individuals. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting or teaching, one powerful tool that’s widely effective is positive reinforcement. In the early years, when children are learning and absorbing so much from their surroundings, positive reinforcement can guide them toward positive choices, self-confidence, and emotional well-being. But it’s not just about praise—what we model as adults plays an essential role too. 

What Is Positive Reinforcement? 

Positive reinforcement means giving attention, praise, or rewards to encourage behaviour we want to see more often. It’s about catching children doing something right and celebrating that moment! It’s a simple and powerful way to influence behaviour through encouragement, rather than focusing on what went wrong. 

For example: 

• When a toddler shares their toy, saying, “That was so kind of you to share with your friend!” encourages them to repeat the behaviour.   

• If a preschooler helps clean up after playtime, offering a high-five or saying, “I love how you’re helping!” reinforces their helpfulness. 

These moments help children feel noticed, valued, and motivated to continue making positive choices.  We get so swept up in rules and pointing out what the children have done that hasn’t followed a rule, we forget this. 

Why Does It Matter in the Early Years? 

In early childhood, brains are like sponges, soaking up everything from their environment. This is when foundational life skills, such as communication, empathy, and cooperation, are being developed. Positive reinforcement helps children associate good feelings with certain behaviours, making them more likely to repeat those actions. 

Rather than focusing on mistakes, positive reinforcement shifts the attention to what’s going well. This not only builds self-esteem but also strengthens the child-adult relationship, creating a safe, loving space where children feel secure in learning and trying new things. 

The Power of Adult Role Modelling 

While praising and rewarding good behaviour is important, children don’t just learn from what we say—they learn from what we do. Our actions speak louder than words. So, as adults, when we model kindness, patience, and cooperation, children naturally follow suit. 

Imagine this: a caregiver calmly resolves a problem, such as patiently waiting their turn or using polite language during a disagreement. Children observing this learn not just from the words used, but from the tone and approach. They internalise these behaviours and apply them in their own interactions. 

Here’s how we can use role modelling effectively: 

• Kindness: When adults show kindness in everyday interactions, children learn to be kind in return. A simple “thank you” or “please” goes a long way. 

• Patience: Children test boundaries—it's part of learning! When we respond to their challenges with patience, they begin to understand the value of taking a breath before reacting or what I like to call ‘practicing the pause!’. 

• Problem-solving: By demonstrating how to solve problems calmly and collaboratively, we teach children that challenges are opportunities for growth, not moments of frustration. 

A Positive Atmosphere, Not Perfection 

It’s important to remember that using positive reinforcement doesn’t mean we ignore difficult moments or pretend everything is perfect. Challenges happen—huge emotional outbursts, frustrations, and mistakes are all part of childhood (and adulthood too!). The goal isn’t to be a perfect parent or teacher; it’s about creating an environment where children feel supported, even when things don’t go smoothly. 

In those tough moments, we can still guide with kindness. Instead of saying, “Why did you do that?” we can offer, “I know it’s hard to wait your turn, but you’re doing a great job trying!” By focusing on effort rather than just the outcome, we help children understand that learning and growing take time. 

Tips for Using Positive Reinforcement Every Day 

1. Be specific with praise: Instead of saying, “Good job!” try, “I love how you cleaned up your toys all by yourself!” This shows you’re paying attention and highlights the exact behaviour you appreciate. 

2. Reinforce effort, not just success: Celebrate the trying, not just the winning. Acknowledge when children make an effort, even if the result isn’t perfect. “I saw how hard you worked on that puzzle! You didn’t give up.” 

3. Model what you want to see: Be the example of the behaviour you wish to encourage. If you want your child to be respectful, demonstrate respect in your interactions with them and others. 

4. Balance praise with encouragement: Positive reinforcement doesn’t always need to be over-the-top praise. A simple, “You’ve got this!” or a thumbs-up can be just as motivating. 

5. Create a safe space for mistakes: Let children know that mistakes are okay and part of learning. This builds resilience and a willingness to try again. 

The Ripple Effect of Positivity 

Positive reinforcement in the early years is about more than just teaching manners or good behaviour. It’s about nurturing a child’s inner world, helping them believe in themselves and the good they can do. When children feel confident in their abilities and loved for who they are, they naturally spread kindness and positivity to others. 

So, as we navigate the ups and downs of early childhood, remember that every smile, kind word, and patient gesture we offer creates a ripple effect. By modelling the behaviours, we value and reinforcing the positive actions we see, we’re helping to raise a generation of kind, confident, and capable individuals—one encouraging word at a time. 

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